List of what I listened to as I typed:


Within Me - Lacuna Coil
Le Le Low - Hot Hot Heat
Glitter - Phantasmagoria
(S)aint - Marilyn Manson
What's Said And Done - Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Dare Devil - System Of A Down
Salvation - The Cranberries
Heaven Can Wait - We The Kings
Dirty Eyes - Bullet For My Valentine
Geek Stink Breath - Green Day
The Bright Young Things - Marilyn Manson
Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire - Fright Ranger
Signal Of Solitude-Image Song - "Chabo"
Teen Titans - Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi





I don't know why, but for some reason I've been so out of it. I haven't been feeling too peppy lately and I'm losing a lot of my drive. I just don't have the urge to do much anymore... I haven't even checked my DA too much. I leave the deviations (909) alone and most of the messages (197) unless they're replies and even then it takes me a while to reply...

It might be depression; kinda sounds like it, but I'm not for sure. It could just be that I'm bored with the mundane life I hold right now. I kind of want to do something exciting. It might be both. I am sad, I mean, I see little kids everywhere and I still see my other nieces and even zoning out for a second will get me thinking...

Holidays are for the kids and this is kind of killing me; Halloween without her and then Christmas is right after that. There's an empty pit in my chest whenever I see a cute little girl; especially if she resembles Jada in any way. There's such an emptiness at my sister's house, especially now. That jackass CJ did something horrible right after Jada's funeral; I really don't want to air out our family's dirty laundry, but I think I should say something... I'm not going to say one thing, the really horrible thing, you can ask if you want. One of the things he did was he pretty much made my sister pay for all of Jada's funeral and asked where her half for the headstone was, so my niece doesn't have one right now. He told all the people giving my sister money to help for any of the expenses not to for some stupid bullshitty reason.

I hate him. I truly do. It might not be hate, it could just be disdain and disgust...yeah, disgust. I'm disgusted with him. He claims to be this wonderful Christian man while he marries a woman he's known for a month, spits lies about my sister and our family and goes about his shitty business. He was never there for any of his kids. He can fuck off. Everyone wants to blame my fucking sister. Guess what? She asked him to take her and he said no because it wasn't his weekend. Yeah. If anything, I'd blame him more, but I fucking don't. You dumbass people don't realize that the only people who are responsible are the ones who did that shit to her; Engelica and Tim.

I swear, I had a fucking fight with some "good mother" on YouTube about this. She was so stupid. She had the nerve to say that if my sister was a better mother Jada would still be alive. Well guess what? She probably wouldn't! It could've happened another time, Englelica could've even done it to one of the other kids. I hate having to explain anything to stupid people. Really, I don't have to but I feel that I should, but it rarely changes their opinion.

I know there are TONS of you who supported and helped us and you kept most of your opinions to yourselves. Whether or not you agreed with my sister's parenting or not didn't come up, it never did, you were all smart enough to realize that Jada was the center of it all. You all knew that finding her was the issue. You especially stayed quiet when everything came unraveled and everything was explained. Even if you don't approve of my sister and how she is; hell, I don't, you were quiet. Sometimes, that's all a person needs...

I may not agree with how my sister is, but I know how she really is; she's not fucking stupid, she's not weak and she's not a bad person.

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Eh, hadn't really meant to rant, but that's been bothering me for a long ass time >>

Oh, by the by, on Thursday at school everything was spinning like crazy; scared the fuck out of me, got taken down to the nurse in a wheelchair 'cause I couldn't walk and got sent home. That was around 8am, I slept until 1pm, lounged and then I went to D&D. Didn't work out too well, I got dizzy again. I called my dad to pick me up, we ate first to see if that would help; didn't, and then I went to the hospital. I was at the hospital for 7 hours; from around 7pm-1am. There was something wrong, I have vertigo -_- Awesome. All the shit I have has something to do with an imbalance or something in the head. I feel so messed up T-T




Um, better news: my tablet skills are steadily improving, even though I haven't used it for quite some time already >>;, I went shopping today and got my Halloween costume and some useless stuff and I've been doing good in my classes even though they suck My puppy barks in his sleep >w<

Oh, and 3oh!3 sucks ass. Only little girls; my niece, and tone-deaf monkeys; you, listen to them And just a heads up: Yes, I've actually listened to them. Yes, you may yell at me for it. No, it will not change my opinion (nor will it change yours). You can also hate my taste in music. That also means I can hate yours.

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OOOOOH, let's make us a game

Give me some band names from 2000-2009 and I'll tell you if I've heard of them.

Then give me some band names from 1990-2000 and I'll tell you if I've heard of them. You can even go as far as *gasp* the 80s

After that, give me a popular band name and I'll give you an older song.

Try a random song name and I'll see if I can name the band and vice versa



You probably won't do this, but it sounds like a fun challenge >:3
I most likely won't get/know a lot of them xD